Some Random Favorite Quotes

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."--Shakespeare

"If life hands you lemons, don't bother making lemonade… just pelt them at someone else!"--Unknown

"Live life on the edge just don't fall off."--Anon.

"Women can never be satisfied because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that ejaculates money."--Unknown

"I would walk a thousand miles with you because there ain't no FUCKING way I'm paying $4.50 a gallon."--Unknown

"…some people take [religion] too far. I'm all for believing in what you wanna believe…you say religion to me and I'm thinking DaVinci's 'Last Supper.' Jesus looks sad, the apostles look miserable, I don't wanna go to their party. Shouldn't religion be more like dogs playing poker? I can't tell you what any of the apostles are doing at the last supper, but I can tell you the little white bulldog is holding an ace under the table." Sue says. Detective smiles. "See? That's fun and wonderment. I'm engaged. All that other stuff is ritual and punishment."--Sue (Carrie 2002 film; actress: Kandyse McClure)

"You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest." ~~Dwayne (Little Miss Sunshine—Paul Dano)

"Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that." ~~Frank (Little Miss Sunshine—Steve Carell)

"A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning he doesn't even try." ~~Grandpa (LMS—Alan Arkin)

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."--Benjamin Franklin

Jenny: "Hey stacey! Say it to my fucking face. You fucking vagina!" (from The L Word")

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."--Unknown

"Life's a bitch 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy."--Unknown

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits..."--George Carlin (7 words)

Chief Wyatt Rash: My mother always used to say, "When life hands you potatoes, make potato salad."
Mona Dearly: Yeah? Well life handed me a pile of shit. What am I supposed to do with that?
Phil Dearly: Make shit salad?
(Drowning Mona)

"You don't understand!"--Kelsi

"I want some cooooooooooooooooooooooooooffee..."--Jennifer

"True story."--Me

Brain:"Your drunk."
Stewie:"Your sexy."